Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Rest in Paradise Grandma

These past few days have been tough.  Waking up in the morning has been difficult, and putting a smile on my face has been impossible.  But with the help of my amazing family, sisters, and friends, I've been getting through it.  The text messages, facebook posts and messages, and the replies on twitter have meant the world to me.

Today was my grandma's funeral, and today was the day that I realized she's gone.  It's still so hard to believe, but seeing her in the casket made it so real.  My grandma looked amazing today; she looked the way she did months ago.  They did an amazing job filling out her face and making her look like she did before her sickness went downhill.  Looking at her was hard because it made me realize that she physically won't be around anymore, but I know that her spirit lives on.  Cancer may have taken her life, but it cannot take away all of the amazing memories and the love I have for her.  My grandma fought until the end, and I admire her strength through it all.

Grandma would have been so happy with the service.  It was perfect.  She would have been even happier that all of the ladies in her Red Hats group showed up in their red and purple outfits to say goodbye to their Queen Mother.  She loved being part of the Red Hats and she loved being the Queen.  I was there the day she resigned due to her declining health, and it hurt her so much to have to do that.  That group was the one thing keeping her occupied here in Florida and keeping her happy when her family wasn't around.  She must love knowing that the Red Hats and her family all came together to celebrate and remember her life.

I've been working on a letter since she passed away, and I was hoping that it would have been done by the funeral so it could have gone in her casket.  But it wasn't perfect, and I didn't want to rush it.  When its done, I'll make a trip up to Englewood to read it to her...and then I'll post it on here.  There's so much I wish I had said when I had the chance.  And I regret not being able to see her more before she passed away.  But I know she loved having us there, and I know how happy she was when Alyssa & I surprised her by visiting.  Even though I never said it much, I love my grandma so much, and it kills me to know that she's no longer (physically) here.

I know she's not suffering and hurting anymore, and that's all I could ever want.  She's resting in paradise, and I know she's smiling right now 

[[ If the people we love are stolen from us, the way we have to live on is to never stop loving them.  Buildings burn, people die, but real love is forever. ]]

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