Thursday, July 28, 2011


Today I landed my dream internship at Pushing the Envelope, Inc.  A good friend of mine interned there last semester and said so many amazing things about the firm and the owner.  So when I saw that they were  looking for an intern, I had to apply!

Two days later, I interviewed and found out I got the internship!!  I'll be focusing on social media while the other intern will be focusing more on the traditional PR.  I'm super excited about this opportunity and where it will lead.

I can't wait to start!!

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

It's a funny thing

There's this thing that happens when you start taking life seriously.

You realize that you have the power to go places and do bigger and better things.  You realize that where you are now isn't really the peak of your journey, it's just the beginning.

And you begin to realize that maybe, just maybe, everything will work out.  Probably not the way you had hoped.  But it will work out.

It's a funny thing, really.

Sunday, July 17, 2011

I feel like I'm 17 again

Tonight, ABC Family premiered its new original movie, Cyberbully.

Watching the movie brought back so many feelings for me.  It's no secret that I was bullied in middle school and most of high school, and cyberbullying was definitely part of that.

But the part of the movie that hit the hardest was when she had her big emotional breakdown after seeing the video.  Right after that, she posted a video online as a cry for help.  Then she tried to kill herself.

I had a moment like that too.  One moment that pushed me so far that I couldn't take it.  And while I didn't post a video online, I did post a cry for help through a bulletin on Myspace.  And then I too tried to take my own life.

Watching Taylor, played by Emily Osment, break down like that literally brought me back to that moment of helplessness.  I felt like I was 17 again and the whirlwind of emotions hit me so hard.  I started shaking while watching it.

I'm still feeling the aftermath of this rush of emotions.  To be honest, all I want to do is cry.  It seems so silly when I write it down.  But being reminded of these strong emotions is hard.  I haven't gone back to "that place" in three years.  I seem to avoid talking about it.  And now that I'm being forced to face it...I really don't know what to do.

Maybe I'm not really "better." Maybe I still have so much to confront.  I'm starting to think I let an amazing opportunity slip by after I attempted suicide in 2007.  I think I made a big mistake.