Friday, March 26, 2010

I....what? I WON!!!!!!

Today was one of the most nerve-wracking days of my life.  Student Government elections were read at Spirit Day, in front of HUNDREDS of students. Come on.  Who wouldn't be nervous?

The results were read by college from highest amount of votes to lowest.  I knew that I'd either be the 3rd name read or my name wouldn't get called at all.  That made things even worse.

As Casey said, "your Senators for the College of Education are..." I started to cry.  And when I heard Megan & Kelsey's names read, I started to cry more.  It was this or not at all.

And then I heard my name.  It was one of the most surreal feelings in the world.  I, Christina B., got elected by the student body of FGCU as a Senator.  I thought this day would never come.

The best part about it was being surrounded by other members of the Unite party and the people who have supported me on this crazy journey.  And their excitement when I won made it even more exciting for me.  I couldn't have asked for a better group of friends or a better way to end these past two weeks.

Oh, and I can't forget that PETER & KIM WON!!!!!  31 out of 34 of our Senatorial Candidates got elected, and the Peter & Kim got elected as President & VP.  Such a sweet victory.

I cannot begin to express how thankful I am for everyone who voted for me.  940 votes.  That's 200 more than last year.  I am so excited to continue to represent the students of FGCU.  Again, thank you to everyone who voted for me.  You have absolutely no idea how much this means to me.

If you're not moving then you're just standing still

The title of this blog is so appropriate for what I've been going through over the past few days.  Tuesday, March 23rd, was the 3-year anniversary of my overdose.  It was quite a rough day for me, and all day it was all I could think about.  I easily remembered what I was doing at different moments in the day, and it played like a movie so vividly in my head.  But at the same time, it didn't seem real because all I could think was, "did I really do that?   Was that really me?"

Looking at me now you would never know.  You'd never know all of the emotional pain that I suffered or that I tried to kill myself.  It's hard to think that at one point in my life, I really thought that life wasn't worth the fight.

I compare where I was three years ago to where I am now, and I realize how much things have changed.  At that point in time, I was starving myself, cutting myself, and abusing Xanax.  My relationship with my friends was non-existent, and the only person I could really trust and talk to was my math teacher.  Right now, I'm happier than I've ever been.  I have an absolutely incredible group of friends who never fail to make me laugh.  I'm a newly initiated member of a sorority, and I love my sisters with all of my heart.  I'm a leader on campus, and I try to be involved with every organization that I can possibly be involved with.  I'm nearly 3-years cut-free (May 7th!), I eat way too much (gotta go to the gym), and the sight of drugs makes me sick.  I am the polar opposite of who I was three years ago.  And to be honest, it feels so damn good.

When I see people who are at rock bottom and feel like they can't get out, all I want to do is share my story.  I know what it's like to be there and think, "I'll never be like that.  I'll never make it out alive."  But here I am...fully alive.  A lot of what got me through all of that were the stories of those who had turned their life around.  I know the importance of speaking out about your experiences because I know that our stories matter.  I know that we are important, and that we can make a difference in the lives of others.  I know this because I was there....and now I'm here.

People tell me I need to forget, but remembering is what keeps me going.  The past reminds me how lucky I am to be where I am today.  It reminds me that through pain there's hope and better tomorrow's. 

In the words of Flyleaf, "Fully alive.  More than most.  Ready to smile and love life.  Fully alive.  And she knows how to believe in futures."

03.23.07 - 03.23.10 <3

Friday, March 19, 2010

Five dollar. Five dollar footlongs.

Words cannot express how proud I am to be a Senatorial Candidate for the UNITE! party.  Thanks to Student Government leaders & the UNITE! party, we led negotiations with Aramark to have $5 footlongs on campus EVERY DAY.  They said it was impossible, but UNITE! made it happen....for you.

So VOTE UNITE! for experienced leaders who will make big changes happen at FGCU!

Thursday, March 18, 2010

UNITE! for the good of the Eagles!!

I feel like I'm caught in a whirlwind right now.  Like the ones you see in a movie where everything is moving around you and you're moving your head to the left and to the right trying to make sense of it all.

Everything is moving so fast, and it's been impossible to stop and make sense of it all.

A year ago, I was doing the same exact thing I'm doing now - campaigning.  But this year's election cycle has already proven to be much different than last year's.  Last year, I felt a strong connection to each and every person running on ACTION!  They became my family, and the bonds I made throughout those 2 weeks are still going strong today.  This year, it's just different.  There's not as many people at the table, and I feel like I haven't even had the opportunity to get to know everyone.  I know that they are all incredible people.  I can see it in the way that the carry themselves around this campus.  I just wish I was able to get to know them better.  Because whether or not we all get elected or not, we share a bond that is irreplaceable.

The parties this year are also so different.  I like to think of them as polar opposites.  You have Unite, the party I'm running with.  We have an extensive platform, experienced Senators, and top leaders on this campus.  People spent HOURS making up the designs for our platform cards, shirts, and banners.  Proactive, on the other hand, is a bit different.  Their platform card contains about five or six items, and they're very basic phrases.  There's nothing wrong with that.  Their shirts were sponsored by 15-20 different businesses.  Their platform cards are not made from cardstock but rather regular old computer paper.  Their Senatorial candidates are not experienced Senators, but rather people who are eager to get involved.  Again, absolutely NOTHING wrong with that.  Just two totally different styles of campaigning.  It's a true reflection of the two different leadership styles these parties have.  It makes campaigning very interesting.  And with our tables directly across from each other, you can see the distinct contrasts between the parties.

I found myself crying not too long ago because I realized how terrified I am.  I'm beginning to realize why I've been holding back so much.  It's because I'm scared.  I'm scared of things turning out like they did last year.  Last year I didn't think I had a shot, but I had hopes anyway.  So yeah, I was upset when I lost.  This year, I actually think I have a chance at getting elected.  And that thought scares the crap out of me.  I know that if I don't change my campaigning strategies/skills, things will turn out exactly as they did last year.  And I'm not sure if I can handle that again.

The support that I've had over the past several days has been incredible.  Family, friends, sisters, and even strangers have told me how much they support myself and the UNITE party.  I'm terrified but I'm excited for what's to come.

March 26th will come and go, but that will never change the amazing memories that our party will share together.  I'm so proud to be part of the Unite party.  And no matter what the outcome is, I'll always be grateful to be part of this amazing party.  <3

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Take one of our.....oh, you already have one

This election cycle has proved to be quite eventful so far.  I have so much to write about!!  Look for a blog update within the next 24 hours or so.

I'm off to my amazing Fundamentals of Communications class (no seriously, I LOVE this class!!).  The Mancini makes class so enjoyable.  I think I'm going to create his fan page.  I know people will totally join.  :)

I hope everyone has a great day and an awesome St. Patrick's Day!!  Don't forget to wear green!!

p.s. I'm currently running on no sleep.  Literally no sleep.  Not even an hour...or a minute.  Haven't slept in over 23 hours.  Today is going to be a hilarious day (when I'm overly tired, everything is funny to me.  Even if it's not funny, I'll laugh).  Gotta love days like this.  Okay, not really.

Monday, March 15, 2010

Let the campaigning begin!!

Student Government campaigning has officially begun, and I'm proud to say that I'm running with the UNITE party for a College of Education Senate seat.  It feels like just yesterday that I was running with the Action party, and I truly can't believe that it's been a year.  For the most part I am excited about this election cycle, but I am ridiculously nervous.  I'm also a bit scared, and I'm trying desperately to not let that fear consume me.  I'm sure that over the next 2 weeks I'll have lots to write about.  So be prepared for some great blogs posts.

VOTE UNITE! for the good of the Eagles!!

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Are you locked out?

Believe me when I say that I don't get angry often.  Sure, I get upset every once in awhile, but it's nothing that I can't just shrug off.  Right now, I'm livid.  Absolutely livid.  And I'm not sure how to deal with my anger.  All I know how to do is write.

I spent most of my Monday on campus.  I went back to my dorm for 2 hours to do homework, but when my internet didn't work, I decided to take a nap instead.  Then I went back onto campus to go to the library and attend a meeting.  I got back to my dorm around 10:20pm, and when I tried opening my door, it was jammed.  I tried for another 5 minutes, then proceeded to bang on my door for another 5-10 minutes.  I knew at least one roommate was home since her light was on (she never leaves her light on unless she's home).  I went to Alyssa's dorm (my younger sister) and hung out there for a bit, then went back to my dorm to try and open it again.  Still didn't work.  Alyssa tried it.  Didn't work.  So we went to The Commons and got an RA.  She probably thought I was lying when I said it wouldn't open.  She came to my dorm, tried it, and it didn't work.  So she called every Resident Director on the face of the Earth...and after 20 minutes finally got ahold of one of them.  He came and pretty much disassembled the lock.  And even then, it still wouldn't open.  Finally, people in the apartment across the hall gave us a broom and the Resident Director went and banged on the windows of the people who were there.  For a few minutes, NO ONE got up...not even to move the blinds and see what was going on.  Finally one of them called Mary (the other roommate who was stuck outside w/ me...only for half the time) and asked why she had called.  And FINALLY...after 2 HOURS, I got back into my dorm.  The RA & RD had to reassemble the lock, so they were here for another 30 minutes or so.

I'm not mad at any one person.  I'm mad at the situation in general.  I'm mad that someone deadbolted the door.  I'm mad that when I BANGED on the door at 10:20pm, no one answered it.  I know people need to get their sleep, but the earliest I've seen anyone in my dorm go to sleep is 11pm.  I'm mad that SOMEONE was awake when I first knocked and didn't even go to the door to see who it was (her light was on the first time I knocked and off when I came back to try and re-open it).  I'm mad that this same roommate never answers the door when someone is knocking.  I'm mad that even when the RA & RD knocked, no one could answer it.  I'm mad that it took banging on a window with a broom for someone to consider opening the door.  I'm mad that I got "locked out" for TWO HOURS when it could have all been prevented.  I'm mad that I'm taking this out on people when it's not one person's fault.  I'm just mad.  And I know I have the right to be, but I don't want to be.  Just being angry won't do any of us any good.

We're going to have a roommate meeting and I'm going to say exactly how I feel.  Quiet little Christina is going to speak her mind, and I know my roommates probably won't like what I have to say.  But I've gone 7 months without complaining ONCE....about anything.  People have not bought stuff that we all use.  They've taken my kitchen stuff and used it without my permission (and then didn't put it back).  They've been loud right in front of my bedroom door at 3am when I was trying to sleep.  They've done a lot of things that have bothered me, just as I've probably done to them.  But I've never said anything...because they were never that big of a deal.  But this IS a big deal.  At least, to me it is.  And I just want my roommates to recognize that and respect that.

I'm not as angry as I was when I started writing this.  Granted I'm still a bit pissed off, but at least I can go to sleep now without feeling the need to punch something.   I'm not sure what our roommate meeting will bring, but I know that things can only go up from here.

Saturday, March 6, 2010

Alice in Wonderland

Tim Burton's version of Alice in Wonderland came out yesterday, and of course I just had to go out and see it!!  Alice in Wonderland has always been my favorite Disney film, and I am a huge fan of Johnny Depp & Tim Burton.  This had to be a recipe for success, right?


I am more in love with Alice in Wonderland than I ever was before!  And paying the extra money to see it in 3D is definitely worth it.  It was a bit different than I expected.  It was a bit darker and more violent than I thought it would be, but to me, that's what made the film.  The actors/actresses played their parts so well, and I felt that the cast was so perfectly selected.  I'm so happy with the outcome of the film, and I have to go see it again!!

But before I go see it again, I'm going to watch the classic Disney cartoon version that we grew up on.  Thank you Alice in Wonderland for never failing me :)

Mad Hatter: Have I gone mad?
Alice: I'm afraid so.  You're entirely bonkers.  But I'll tell you a secret.  All the best people are.