Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Falling in Love

I've never been the type of person who does well in relationships.  I'm independent.  I always say and do the wrong things.  I'm goal-oriented.  I love being alone.  And to be honest, I get completely insecure around guys.

But I believe that when you're with someone that you need to give them everything you have.  It's okay to be scared, but at some point you need to let your guard down and trust them.  I believe that you have to love them with your whole heart.  I believe that you need to make the time for them, regardless of how busy you are.  I believe that if you find the right person, you need to be willing to open your heart and fall in love.

It's easy to judge people who are in relationships.  It's easy to say, "you're moving too fast" or "you're going to get hurt."  But at some point you have to let go of your own biases and be supportive.  Stop judging people for the way they choose to handle their relationship.  You might be surprised by the love they have for each other.

I don't know much about what's "normal" in a relationship, but I do know how I feel.  I know that I wake up in the morning with a smile on my face, and I go to bed feeling the same way.  I know that when I'm with him, my insecurities melt away and I can laugh at myself.  I know that he can make me smile and laugh the way no one else can.  I know that I'm a better person because of him, and I'm a better person when I'm with him.

I know that I'm in love with him.  And I know that I'm happier than I've ever been in my entire life.

If for whatever reason this doesn't work out, at least I can look back and say I loved him with everything I had.  That's what matters to me.

Sunday, February 19, 2012

Thursday, February 16, 2012

Rest in Peace, Roxy

I left for class Monday knowing we were going to put Roxy to sleep tomorrow.  She was old and her heart just couldn't take it anymore.  We knew that this day would come sooner or later, but I always hoped it would be later rather than sooner.  I cried nearly non-stop for two days.  When I left to go to class, on a date, or to a meeting my heart hurt.  I felt like my whole world was falling apart.  I felt empty and almost guilty.  Roxy was always fine...until she wasn't.  And when she wasn't fine, it was bad.  I still think about whether or not we made the right decision.  But I have to believe that we did.  That it was the right thing to do.  That she's not in pain anymore.

Spending time with Roxy on Monday
Roxy was never really my favorite.  I mean, she had terrible breath, she made a mess around the house, and she was so old.  But I loved Roxy.  I woke up early on weekends to take her on walks, shared my food with her no matter how hungry I was, accompanied her to the vet when she was sick and took care of her every second I could.  When she went to the bathroom on the floor, I cleaned it up and never yelled.  When we went to Fort Lauderdale I let her sleep next to me on the bed and let her have first dibs on the blanket.  She was more than just a pet.  She was part of our family.  It brings me joy to say we saved Roxy from an abusive home and that we made her remaining years the best they could be.  But it saddens me to know she is gone.  I just know she is out of pain and in a better place.  But I wish she didn't have to go so soon.
Before leaving for Senate...and before she was taken to be put down
Rest in paradise, Roxy.  You will always be in my heart <3 02.14.2012

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Bucket List: January 2012

116. Attend an NFL Game (checked off January 1, 2012)

Long story short, my dad is a huge Jets fan and they happened to be playing the Miami Dolphins on New Years Day.  So of course we bought tickets to the game.  It worked out since it turned into an early birthday present for my dad, and my sister and I were able to buy him a jersey for his birthday.  Even though I'm a Giants fan, I had an amazing time at the game.  Watching football games on TV just doesn't do it for me anymore.  I'm spoiled.

77. Shoot a gun (checked off January 29, 2012)

A co-worker from my internship asked me if I wanted to go shooting with him, and I obviously jumped on the opportunity to cross off another thing on my bucket list!  It was definitely scary, but I actually had a lot of fun.  I can't wait to go with my friends next time, especially since a lot of them have this on their bucket list too! I don't have a picture of me actually shooting a gun, but take my word for it :)