Tuscaloosa vs. Westboro Baptist Church

Today I had the opportunity to witness a protest by one of the most hateful groups in the United States.  I’m talking about the Westboro Baptist Church (WBC).  You probably know them for picketing the funerals of fallen soldiers and for signs such as “God Hates Fags” and “Thank God for Dead Soldiers.” 

Here’s a little bit of background on the WBC.  The church is located in Topeka, Kansas and is considered a hate group by the Southern Poverty Law Center (and by most people around the country).  Fred Phelps established the church in 1995 and members of the church primarily consist of the Phelps family.  According to their website, they “adhere to the teachings of the Bible, preach against all forms of sin, and insist that the sovereignty of God and the doctrines of grace be taught and expounded publicly to all men.”

But let’s be honest.  They preach hate.

The Westboro Baptist Church posted on their site a few weeks ago that they would be holding a protest at The University of Alabama on May 18^th from 12-12:30pm.  Their reason?  To remind UA of the wrath of God that visited us two years ago…referring to the EF4 tornado that devastated Tuscaloosa on April 27, 2011.  Their website claims that the storm was God’s punishment for the growing acceptance of gay marriage in the nation.

So what was the protest like?  Well, not what I expected.  I expected a lot of yelling and hateful speech, but it wasn’t like that at all.  On one side of the street you had 15 or so members of the Westboro Baptist Church holding their hateful signs and walking around in their little taped off area.  On the other side were counter-protesters and members of the Tuscaloosa community holding signs that promoted love and acceptance while chanting phrases such as “Love Not Hate.”  And up and down the streets, you had motorcyclists revving their engines drowning out any words that came out of the WBC members’ mouths.

Don’t get me wrong.  The protest was still incredibly hateful, and being in their presence was absolutely sickening.  The more I watched them and read their signs, the angrier I became.  When I realized there wasn’t one child, but three or four children, protesting with them, I became disgusted.  How could someone bring children out to protest and hold signs that say “Bloody Obama” and “God H8s Gay Marriage”?  

I couldn't believe the amount of hate I was witnessing, but I truly believe the love from the counter protesters overshadowed most, if not all, of the hate.

But the more I stood out there, the more I realized that these people are bat shit crazy.  They’ll protest anything and come up with some reason why it “makes sense.”  The WBC is one of the most hateful groups in America…hands down.

In the battle between Tuscaloosa vs. the Westboro Baptist Church, I think it's pretty safe to say that the winner is....Tuscaloosa.

(For more pictures from the event, feel free to check out my Photobucket album here.)

Thanks for Always Calling Me Beautiful

You know that you’re not my first boyfriend…but you also know that all of my other relationships were so long ago (like “6 years before we started dating” long ago).  I don’t remember the dynamic of those relationships or much about them at all.  What I do know is that you’re different than all of the other guys I’ve dated.  Not just because you’re the only man I’ve ever loved…but because you always call me beautiful.

Most guys don’t notice when their girlfriend gets a hair cut or when they wear a new shade of lipstick.  Most guys don’t notice when their girlfriend buys a new outfit or when she starts a new workout routine.  Most guys don’t notice when their girlfriend loses a pound.  But you do.  After a month (or more) of being apart, you notice when I’ve lost weight (even just a pound).  You notice when my clothes fit differently.  You notice things that most guys wouldn’t, and it truly means the world to me.

When I tell you that I’m on a new medication, the first thing you do is look it up online.  If I’m interested in starting a new diet plan or workout routine, you look up that stuff too.  You want the best for me, and you genuinely care about making sure I’m healthy. 

You’ve never once called me ugly.  I could send you a picture of my hair up in a towel or with a piece of candy sticking out of my mouth…moments when I look truly hideous.  And what you do say?  You’ll say, “oh wow” or “you’re so weird.”  But you always end it by telling me I’m cute.

When I greet you at the airport (or when you greet me), the first thing you do is tell me how good I look.  You tell me that I’ve lost weight and that I look beautiful.  It doesn’t matter if I’ve been awake since 4am or if I’ve spent 3.5 hours in a car, 3 hours in an airport, and 2 hours on a plane.  You always tell me I’m beautiful.

I’ve never had someone make me feel as good as you have.  In our 15 months of dating, you’ve never called me ugly.  You’ve never called me fat.  You’ve always been supportive of me wanting to lose weight.  You’ve been supportive in my journey to be healthier and in my journey to try and run a 5k.  You support all of my goals and dreams…no matter how crazy they may be.  And you always build up my confidence.

Thank you for being the man of my dreams, the love of my life, and for always telling me that I’m beautiful.  I love you, Alex.  I’m the luckiest girl in the world to have you by my side.

Gone Too Soon

It’s been three years since you left this world far too soon, and not a day goes by that I don’t think about you.  I try to make you proud in everything I do, and I know you’d be so happy to see how far I’ve come.  Every time I go on a date with Alex, I think about how much you would have loved him.  I think about the jokes you two could have made at my expense and how you would have loved him being part of our family.  I think about how happy you would’ve been on Alyssa’s wedding day and how thrilled you would’ve been to find out you were going to have a great-granddaughter.  We all know how much you wanted to be around long enough to have a great-grandchild, and it’s so bittersweet that you won’t be here to watch Alyssa have her little girl.  I don’t think it’s a coincidence that Baby Marley is due in August; I think it’s a reminder that you’re watching over us.

I miss you, Grandma…I really do.  I know I used to make jokes, but I swear that I loved you (but I think you always knew that).  I’ll never forget the trips we took and how you always made it a point to spoil us.  You made my first 20 years on this Earth unforgettable…and I hope that Alyssa and I made your last 20 years unforgettable too. 

I know you’re always with me in whatever I do and wherever I go, and I know you’d be so proud of the woman I am today.  I love you and miss you, and I wish I could have just one more day with you.

Rest in Paradise, Grandma.  I love you.

08.14.1938 - 04.15.2010

Finding the Silver Linings

It's been awhile since I've posted.  It's not that I haven't been inspired (because I have been), but nothing has really been "post worthy."  I'm not even sure if this one is.

So much has happened since the last time I posted.  Winter break, my birthday, my car broke down in Alabama, I got it fixed, I started my second semester of grad school, but most importantly, Alex and I celebrated our one-year anniversary.

I think a lot about how we got to this point because if you asked me a year ago if I thought we'd be in the place we are today, I would've told you "no."  Not because I didn't believe in our relationship (I did), but because I thought I would've screwed it all up by now.  That's just what I'm good at - ruining all of the good things in my life.

I think about what got me to go on that first date.  Two days prior I wanted nothing to do with him, but when I spent time with him, I felt comfortable, relaxed, and in good company.  Maybe that day was the turning point.  Because from that day forward, I couldn't get him off of my mind...no matter how hard I tried.  And when we went on our first date, I had the most intense butterflies.  I didn't even know what to say.  I was unusually shy, I didn't want to drink (which was not like me at the time), and I was on my phone way more than I usually would be.  I was nervous, excited, cautious...all because I was with a man who made me this way.  I liked how I felt when I looked in his eyes, laughed with him, and held his hand.  I would get over the quirkiness, but I thought "if everything else stays, this could be a good thing."  I didn't kiss him on our first date because I wanted to make sure he was genuine.  And sure enough he was.  Two long days later he got that kiss, and he still gets them every time we're together.

I saw a movie the other day, Silver Linings Playbook, and as dysfunctional as Pat and Tiffany were, they were perfect for each other.  They made each other better and lifted each other's spirits.  They were broken and quirky, but they were in it together.  And it made me realize that when you find someone who is good for you, they can change everything.

Alex has helped me find the silver linings in life.  He's helped me see the light when all I can see is darkness, and he's helped me to remain hopeful.  He's been understanding and comforting and thoughtful.  He's been an incredible support system.  We remind each other every day of the things we love about the other person and how in love we truly are.  We remind each other that even though this isn't the ideal situation, it won't always be this way.

I never could have known these things on our first date, but I'm glad I know them now.  I'm glad I got over whatever was holding me back, and I'm glad I gave him a chance.  He's my one and only, the love of my life, and my best friend.

I'm so lucky to call him mine.

Bucket List: November & December 2012

November 2012

169. Fly on a plane alone

It took 22 years, but I finally crossed this one off my bucket list.  In the past, I've always flown with family or my little sister, but this was the first time that I actually flew by myself...and I had a connection.  I actually took two trips by myself during this month - one at the beginning of the month and one for Thanksgiving.  It was a total of six (6) individual flights.  I'm going to be flying alone a lot this year...so I better get used to it.

December 2012

128. Donate money to the charity of your choice

Technically, I've done this one already.  I've donated money to countless nonprofits through Relay for Life, Chi Omega, Race for the Cure, To Write Love on Her Arms, class projects, etc.  But this time, I made a direct donation to the Make-A-Wish Foundation with no affiliation to an event.  I hope that in the future I can make a bigger impact, but I know from experience that every little bit counts.

Bucket List: October 2012

175. Celebrate a college homecoming week

At FGCU, homecoming didn't exist.  All four years I was there they said they were going to try and create some sort of homecoming tradition even without a football team.  Never happened.

Now that I'm a student at The University of Alabama, I have the opportunity to do many things I couldn't do at FGCU...including celebrating a homecoming week and going to a homecoming football game.  Since this is my only year at UA, I did as much as I could, even though that meant going to the homecoming parade and (unexpectedly) going to the homecoming football game.  It was a blast.  That's the best way I can describe it.

Hopefully I can return to UA years down the road as an alumni to once again celebrate homecoming week.  It was an experience I won't forget.

Long Distance Relationships: The Hardest Part

The question I get asked most is, "what's the hardest part about being in a long distance relationship?" The simplest answer I have is "everything," but I know that's not helpful or specific.  A few days ago, I got to see my boyfriend, Alex, for the first time in almost a month.  It was amazing, but then I had to come back to Alabama.  I know some people have it worse than me, but only getting to see Alex once a month has been hard on me.  Last week I was working on a present for him when I began thinking about the hardest parts about being in a long distance relationship.  And here's what I came up with.

1. Not being able to touch, hug, kiss, see, hold, talk to, or just be there with them.
2. The way people judge your relationship and how you choose to handle it. Every relationship, long distance or not, is different.  But somehow, when you're doing the long distance thing, people find more ways to judge.
3. Getting into fights over stupid little things like your significant other going out instead of calling you or when they don't respond to your texts.
4. The slight fear that one day your significant other might just stop loving you...all because you're not there.
5. The price of things: the cost of a plane ticket, the cost of gas, how much it costs to ship presents.  There's also the fear that you might send them something and it gets lost in the mail.
6. The loneliness you feel.  You could be sitting in your apartment watching TV or sitting in class listening to a lecture when it hits you.  You can't control it, but immediately you feel a sense of loneliness.  It's crippling at times but you can't even go to them for a hug to make it better because they're so far away.  The littlest things can set it off.  Like seeing a friend in a long distance relationship with her boyfriend or when "your song" comes on the radio.  Or looking at pictures from the last time you saw each other.
7. Knowing the only dates you get for most of the month are Skype dates. Skype is a wonderful invention, and I absolutely love it.  But nothing in the world will ever compare to a face-to-face date.
8. The jealousy that you know is absolutely ridiculous but you just can't help.  It hits you when you think about the fact that there are people who get to see your significant other every day and take their presence for granted.
9. The sexual frustration.  Maybe this is a bit TMI, but it's true.  There are times you just want to lay in bed and cuddle and make out and have a sexy romantic evening together.  But you can't.
10. The pain you feel when you feel like your significant other is having an easier time with the long distance relationship than you are.  Then the pain you feel when they are down in the dumps and you're okay.  It's a never-ending cycle.

Obviously there are more than 10 things that make long distance relationships hard, but these are the 10 that I think about most often.  And I think they're true for many other long distance couples as well.

If you think of something else that's hard about your long distance relationship, comment and let me know!