Believe me when I say that I don't get angry often. Sure, I get upset every once in awhile, but it's nothing that I can't just shrug off. Right now, I'm livid. Absolutely livid. And I'm not sure how to deal with my anger. All I know how to do is write.
I spent most of my Monday on campus. I went back to my dorm for 2 hours to do homework, but when my internet didn't work, I decided to take a nap instead. Then I went back onto campus to go to the library and attend a meeting. I got back to my dorm around 10:20pm, and when I tried opening my door, it was jammed. I tried for another 5 minutes, then proceeded to bang on my door for another 5-10 minutes. I knew at least one roommate was home since her light was on (she never leaves her light on unless she's home). I went to Alyssa's dorm (my younger sister) and hung out there for a bit, then went back to my dorm to try and open it again. Still didn't work. Alyssa tried it. Didn't work. So we went to The Commons and got an RA. She probably thought I was lying when I said it wouldn't open. She came to my dorm, tried it, and it didn't work. So she called every Resident Director on the face of the Earth...and after 20 minutes finally got ahold of one of them. He came and pretty much disassembled the lock. And even then, it still wouldn't open. Finally, people in the apartment across the hall gave us a broom and the Resident Director went and banged on the windows of the people who were there. For a few minutes, NO ONE got up...not even to move the blinds and see what was going on. Finally one of them called Mary (the other roommate who was stuck outside w/ me...only for half the time) and asked why she had called. And FINALLY...after 2 HOURS, I got back into my dorm. The RA & RD had to reassemble the lock, so they were here for another 30 minutes or so.
I'm not mad at any one person. I'm mad at the situation in general. I'm mad that someone deadbolted the door. I'm mad that when I BANGED on the door at 10:20pm, no one answered it. I know people need to get their sleep, but the earliest I've seen anyone in my dorm go to sleep is 11pm. I'm mad that SOMEONE was awake when I first knocked and didn't even go to the door to see who it was (her light was on the first time I knocked and off when I came back to try and re-open it). I'm mad that this same roommate never answers the door when someone is knocking. I'm mad that even when the RA & RD knocked, no one could answer it. I'm mad that it took banging on a window with a broom for someone to consider opening the door. I'm mad that I got "locked out" for TWO HOURS when it could have all been prevented. I'm mad that I'm taking this out on people when it's not one person's fault. I'm just mad. And I know I have the right to be, but I don't want to be. Just being angry won't do any of us any good.
We're going to have a roommate meeting and I'm going to say exactly how I feel. Quiet little Christina is going to speak her mind, and I know my roommates probably won't like what I have to say. But I've gone 7 months without complaining ONCE....about anything. People have not bought stuff that we all use. They've taken my kitchen stuff and used it without my permission (and then didn't put it back). They've been loud right in front of my bedroom door at 3am when I was trying to sleep. They've done a lot of things that have bothered me, just as I've probably done to them. But I've never said anything...because they were never that big of a deal. But this IS a big deal. At least, to me it is. And I just want my roommates to recognize that and respect that.
I'm not as angry as I was when I started writing this. Granted I'm still a bit pissed off, but at least I can go to sleep now without feeling the need to punch something. I'm not sure what our roommate meeting will bring, but I know that things can only go up from here.