Monday, January 18, 2010

Setbacks


I honestly feel like a bit of a failure right now. I was doing really well with my weight loss and exercise, but this week I took ten steps back. It really bums me out, but in a way I'm glad it happened. It forced me to re-evaluate my goals. While reading "The Spark," I made long-term, medium-term, and short-term goals, and I was sure to make them very specific. Initially I wanted to work out 6 days a week, but realistically that just can't happen. So I changed it to 30 minutes a day, 5 times a week. I usually always do more than this, but I'm trying to be realistic instead of trying to set my goals on what I'd ideally like to do.

Right now, exercising still feels like a burden. Most of the time, it's hard to get motivated. I usually have no problem doing strength training, but for cardio, I have to force myself into doing it. I know this will change over time, but I think that's why I've been experiencing setbacks.

I've been under some severe stress lately, and I think that's a big reason why I've been experiencing so many setbacks as well. I eat unhealthy foods when I'm stressed as well as lack motivation for working out. But when I do get myself to work out, even if it's just going on a walk, I feel AMAZING. This morning I went on a short walk (only 1-mile) even though it's my "day off," and I felt absolutely invigorated. I came back to my dorm, took a relaxing shower, and knocked out my Human Genetics work for the next 3 weeks. By the end of this week, I should have all of my work done for the first 6 weeks of the class (it's online). I was able to stay focused and get my work done, all because of a 20-minute, 1-mile walk. It wasn't much, but it was enough. Sometimes I don't exercise because I "don't have time" with my ridiculously busy schedule. But slowly, I'm starting to put myself first. I feel selfish doing it, because my life has never been about me, but I'm beginning to understand that "me time" is absolutely essential.

It's been 2 weeks since I've had fast food, and I feel great! I don't crave it AT ALL which I never thought would happen. Ideally I don't want to eat fast food ever again, but realistically that just won't happen. When the time comes, I hope I can make sensible choices. I'm sure it won't be an issue, since the thought of eating fatty, greasy foods makes me sick.

Today starts a new week, and I need to put my setbacks behind me and move forward. I'm hoping that this week will be a great one (well, as good as it can be under the circumstances)!!

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