Project 365 Update

Only 1 more day until the end of my Project 365.  It's been a crazy experience, and I'll definitely be doing a reflection post on my Project 365 blog.  I thought I'd take the time now to reveal what's in store for the next 365 days.

Since I had such a blast with this Project 365, I've decided to continue on with the project.  I will continue on with the numbers (Day 366, 367, etc.)  For these next 365 days, I've decided to add something to the mix.  There are three things I want in every post.

1. A picture of my day (like I've been doing).
2. Something I learned that day.  (It can be something from class or a general life lesson).
3. A picture that shows off my photography.  (I'll admit I'm not the very best photographer.  But the only way to get better is to practice.  So I'm going to use my Nikon to take pictures every day...whether it be of a person, nature, a frame I create, etc.)

I want to use this next year to become a better photographer and use new techniques.  You learn by practicing, so that's what I'm going to do.  I hope that at the end of next year I can see an improvement in my photography.  I'm sure this is going to be hard at first, and I have no doubt that some days will probably be missing pictures due to logistics/travel.  But I'm going to try and make it work the best that I can.

I'm excited for what the future holds.

Is honesty the best policy?

I find myself drifting back to my old ways.  I find myself fighting the urge to starve myself or restrict what I eat.  I find myself fighting the desire to cut again.  It's funny because this is the happiest I've ever been.  My life is beyond amazing, and I truly couldn't be happier.  So, I'm honestly confused as to why I feel this way.  Maybe this time it's not that I'm unhappy with my life but rather that I'm unhappy with myself. 

Lately, I've been feeling like I'm not good enough.  I've been doubting the faith that everyone has in me.  I've been feeling like maybe my best isn't good enough.  Maybe I'm not cut out to do this.  And by "this" I mean Senate Secretary, find an internship, and figure out what I want to do with my life.  Lately, I've been filled with self-doubt despite all of the amazing things going on around me.

I've also been having flashbacks to being raped which has never happened before.  It's probably my trigger for all of these feelings.  I've always resisted help with these issues because I never thought that anyone could possibly understand.  I still feel that way, but I'm starting to think that I need help dealing with this.  I don't want to end up where I was.  So maybe this time I won't be so stubborn.  Maybe this time I'll ask for help.

I'm flawed.

I’m a terrible liar, and therefore I’m always honest.  It always seems to get me in trouble.  I always put others before myself, and I have a hard time doing things for myself.  But on the rare occasion that I do, I’m seen as selfish.  I do things for people without motive or the expectation of being thanked.  I have a terrible time at telling people how I feel…which is why pretty much all of my relationships have failed.  I don’t let many people into my life because I’m afraid they’ll be like “all the others.”   I’m ready for a real relationship but I’m afraid I’ll never find “the one.”  Actually, I’m afraid that I had that person but messed things up.  I have a painful past, and I'm who I am today because of what I went through.  I’m emotional and wear my heart on my sleeve.  People never have to ask how I’m feeling because they just know.  I overanalyze situations and replay conversations in my head hoping that somehow they’ll go differently.  I’m humble.  I don’t realize how successful I actually am.  I’m not as confident as I should be. 

I’m flawed, but at least I’m real.

My life's philosophy

Best and Worst Advice

Last week, I received the best and worst advice of my college career: Don't get a Master's degree in public relations.

With the job market being extremely tough, there are 12,000 people looking for a job for every one position.  During these difficult times, it's important for applicants to diversify themselves.  Basically, applicants need to be able to do more than one thing.  They need to have experiences in a wide range of areas.  Not only will they be better qualified for a job in their "top choice" career, but they'll have a back-up plan.

Getting a BA in Communication/PR AND a Master's in PR wouldn't do anything for my career.  So it's important for me to look elsewhere.

Why it's the worst advice: I've spent all year searching for Master's programs in public relations, and I've finally picked my "top 5."  I've fallen in love with all of these schools, and I would have been happy going to any of them.  These schools are the best of the best and their grad programs are just what I'm looking for.  The schools? New York University, George Washington University, University of Houston, University of Alabama, and University of Miami.

Why it's the best advice: At least I learned it now before it's too late.  Plus, getting a degree in Advertising or Journalism will help me to diversify myself so I'll have many different qualifications.  It's giving me more options in my internships and in my future.

I'm not going to lie: I'm bummed out.  I'm starting again at square one.  But at least it will be a bonus for my future.

FGCU Takes the Walk

If you were on campus last Tuesday, April 5th, I'm sure you saw hundreds of students walking barefoot all over campus.  And I'm sure many of you were thinking, "why?" 

Here's why: Tuesday April 5th was TOMS Shoes' One Day Without Shoes event where people went barefoot for one day in order to raise awareness for those who don't have the choice whether they want to wear shoes or not.

The FGCU TOMS Campus Club and Rotaract had planned to host "FGCU Takes the Walk" where students would take a walk around campus with no shoes.  Unfortunately due to the severe weather, they had to cancel the walk.

Good news Eagles: they're bringing it back.

Today, April 12th, students will have the opportunity to take the walk yet again.  But this time it's bigger and better.  Registration for the walk begins at 2pm and the walk begins at 2:30.  And of course, S-Jayy will be back to perform again starting at 12:30.

So come out to the library lawn and take the one-mile barefoot walk to take action against extreme poverty in Soweto, South Africa.

I'll be there. Will you?

100 Day Photo Challenge: Day 5

Day 5: A picture of your favorite memory

I don't exactly have a favorite memory since I've had some pretty amazing memories, but one of them would be going to Europe after graduating high school.  It was life-changing and eye-opening experience and reminded me how much I love to travel.  I've added so many things to my bucket list because of this trip, and I'm so grateful to have had an experience like this.  Plus, I had an absolute BLAST in Germany, Austria, Switzerland, Italy, France, and England!!!

100 Day Photo Challenge: Day 4

Day 4: A picture of yourself and a family member

My dad and me in Nassau during my 21st birthday cruise :)

100 Day Photo Challenge: Day 3

Day 3: A picture of the cast from your favorite show

House = best show ever.

April 5th = Perfect!

Yesterday, April 5th, was beyond perfect. I'm sure you're wondering why.  Well, here's why:

- Chi Omega Founders Day! Keeping it classy for 116 years <3

- I got a 100% on my AP Style & Grammar exam

- I got to spend time with my Big!

- I spent time bonding with my sisters at the Chili Con Chi-O table.

- I copied my first agendas (with supervision) & learned to use the recorder

- I got a 100% on my Death & Dying paper

- I'm the new Senate Secretary!!!!

- I went to Applebee's with my SG family :)

- Tony bought me a drink

- I smiled all day :)

Seriously, yesterday was beyond amazing. It's days like this that remind me that I am surrounded by the most amazing people.  I know it's cliche, but I love my life and wouldn't want it any other way.  I couldn't be much happier <3

Me...Senate Secretary?!

I am beyond honored and excited to serve as the 2011-2012 Senate Secretary.

It seems like just yesterday when I was starting Leadership Development and trying to figure out where I wanted to go and what I wanted to do.  It seems like just yesterday that I attended my first Senate meeting.  I sat next to Jenn in the front because she's my mentor :) It really feels like yesterday that I was interviewing for Senate seats...constantly being told "no." It feels like just yesterday when I was finally told "yes."

The road to Senate was hard.  But staying here was harder.  They're not kidding when they say elections are FGCU's biggest popularity contest.  It's weird to think that I won...twice.

And now to say that I'm Senate Secretary is beyond crazy for me.  It's still not real.  Those few minutes standing outside was the longest few minutes of my life.  All I could think was, "What if they're not standing when I walk in?" But there they all were...standing and clapping.  It's unreal for me.

I know I'm going to make mistakes, but I'm going to try my damn hardest to be the best Senate Secretary.  I want people to look back and say, "She did an amazing job."  I want to step out of the box and do things that no one else is done.  Honestly, I just want to be the best secretary I can be.

Senate Secretary Bockisch....I can get used to that :)

100 Day Photo Challenge: Day 2

A picture of you and the person you have been closest with the longest.

Me and my amazing sister Alyssa in Central Park :)